I just made out with a guy for $7.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
