...so i touched it.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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