I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
