Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
