Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
