I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
