Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
