After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
