i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
