i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
