i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
