so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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