"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
