Will you blow on my dice?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Randomize
