my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize