so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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