I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
