Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
