please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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