And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
