yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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