there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
