i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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