Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
