Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
babies were throwing up all over the place
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
