pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize