i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
