True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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