Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
