Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
