it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
