You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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