You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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