wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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