Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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