Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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