Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
