Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
