Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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