Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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