drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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