brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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