overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
