How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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