What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize