i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
