My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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