i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
