My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
