Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
