just tell him i said nine months
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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