im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I looked at my own cervix.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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