Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
