smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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