Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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