I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize