Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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