i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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