my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
my poor anus
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
